dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
