There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sober January is a disaster.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
