Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
