I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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