Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
