im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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