there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
