Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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