Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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