I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How external is "for external use only"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
