I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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