There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
