Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
