awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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