I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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