i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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