I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
