ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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