Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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