Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
