So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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