WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
