He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
