Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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