I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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