I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
