Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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