the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
