He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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