Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
