she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
