thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
