I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
