2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
