You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
