Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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