i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
