he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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