I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
