Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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