You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If I die, sorry about rent.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize