My hand turned me down
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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