All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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