so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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