Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
