Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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