My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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