I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
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The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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