He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dick very happy bro
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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