how can u be prego again
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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