Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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