so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
