I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
