nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
