I love black thongs
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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