I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
