just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
